It"s a Crazy Wonderful Life

This is a blog about my family and the crazy life in the Sims Household. We have 5 children, ranging from 14 to 5, and seem to be going in all different directions sometimes. The purpose of this blog is to help keep our friends and family up to date on what is going on in our lives.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Frustrated to tears...

Tonight I had a breakdown. Well not really, but as close as I think I have ever come to having one. Mike is out of town and we had Kaylee's School Choir concert. It was held out at the amphitheatre in the park. The weather cooperated for the most part, though it was trying really hard to rain on us. We caught a few drops here and there, but not enough to make us feel wet. I was there with all the kids and as usual, they would not sit still and be quiet. I know it is a lot to ask that they sit there the whole time, so I positioned myself in an area where it would be easy for me to see the show and for the kids to play away from me where I could watch them. I wouldn't have minded so much if they played away from me, but I couldn't get them to stay away from the pond. I worry about them falling in or something as any "good" mom would. They would go away and play for a bit rolling on the hill or chasing one another, but always ended up at the pond. I would drag them back and ask them not to go to the pond and sure enough they would go right back again. I finally asked Tiffany to just keep an eye on them at the pond which she did happily for a while.

As it was getting closer to the end of the show, the boys started getting antsy (despite running around all night). They were loud and disruptive and Kyle started crying. Well, this kid is so darn stubborn, he won't stop crying for anything until he gets what he wants. I finally ended up leaving the performance early, before the final group went on which was the one group we had been waiting around to see. They are a group in the high school choir(a pretty large group) that write and perform their own music. Anyway, I lost it with the boys. I yelled at them on the way home and really laid into them about how they always make me leave things like this before they are done. In the last 4 weeks, I have left at least 3 different things early because Jacob and Kyle make it absolutely unbearable to try to stay any longer. It is so frustrating. I will be so glad when we can finally go and sit through an entire performance of any kind.

This of course followed a truly unbearable Sunday at church with Kyle. He started acting up in Sacrament meeting right after the sacrament. I took him out to the foyer. I am a mean mom when we are in the foyer. I do not let him run around or play. He has to sit on my lap. This is my way of trying to make him see that church is much better in the chapel. Well, this time my philosophy totally backfired as he decided to just start screaming. I had to take him out of the building and rather than go home(which is what he wanted to do) I made him walk laps around the building. I held his hand and made him keep moving. We must have walked around the building 5 times. He wanted to go in and he was afraid he was going to miss his class(he wouldn't because sacrament meeting was still going on). I told him we would go in as soon as he stopped crying. The stubborn bugger would not stop crying. He just kept on going. When it was time for Primary, I took him in. He stopped crying and wanted to go to class, but as soon as I tried to leave him there, he started crying again and did not want to go to primary. I left him anyway and about 10 minutes later, his teacher brought him back to me and said he wouldn't stop crying so I needed to keep him. Then he fell asleep.

I am reaching whits end with him and his crying. I do not know what to do about it. I have not yet figured out what to do with him and Jake to get them to obey me and respect me. So from one very frustrated mother, I ask for any and all advice anyone may have to help me with these two guys. None of the other kids have been near as difficult as Jake and Kyle have been and I am at a loss. I have tried so many different things and nothing so far has worked.

I love my kids and would not trade a single one of them for anything, even when I am most frustrated with them. But I would love it they listened to me better.


Melly said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melly said...

Dang you for not calling me! Sometimes we moms just have to lose it! I know Mike is gone, and that makes things 10x harder, too. I am here and can take one two or all of your kids, anytime you need a break.

Sorry that Kensie thing was thrown in the middle of that. You must have felt so frustrated!

You can call and vent to me anytime, or call and yell "HELP!"

I'll be right over.

Hope your day is better tomorrow!

(Sorry, I posted my comment w/o proofing it so I had to delete and re-post!)

Nigel Flannery Livingston said...

I don't mean to sound hifalutin, but Z used to try crap like this to me. He still does on occasion. I know this will sound very mundane, but I've always maintained a modicum more stubbornness than him. He eventually figured out that I would not be swayed.

This, of course, is very complicated by the fact that his Mother bows to his every whim.

My struggle in this regard has always been hampered by her unwillingness to adhere to a strict code of parenting.

And by that I don't mean beating the child. I just mean maintaining a clear definition of parent / child roles.

Zack and I have a lot of fun together, but we have very clearly defined roles as Father and son.

I know Jake is a handful. And I know Kyle is a handful. And I can't imagine them together.

You could try ridalin. Just kidding. I am actually vehemently opposed to the administration of Vitamin R.

I know this didn't help you. It just made me sound conceited.


Eliza Brock said...

hi woman.

I agree with what your bro is saying about being just as stubborn with them. (at least that is what I think he was saying) This may sound lame but I get a lot of advice from watching supernanny on abc on Wed...tonight! Laying out clear expectations of what you expect from them while your out or at home and what will happen if they can't behave. (their favorite toys taken away, time out, grounded from tv, video games, just whatever their "currency" is or a combo of a few) In most of the cases it take an extreme amount of paitence to change into this like going and placing them back into time out for 2 hours until they realize they will be sitting there until their time is up and not getting out. I know the twins really love playing on the computer like nick jr and pbs kids so when I tell them if you keep making these choices to be naughty you will be grounded from the computer for the afternoon that normally gets their attention. Or maybe if they like playing outside or going to the pool this summer. How bad would it suck for a kid to have to sit with you on the blanket and watch everyone else swim while they sat there for 30 min with you? I think it is all about finding out what things they will be mad about missing out on and using it as leverage. Also remember to reward them when they are good for you too. So it isn't always negative. In most of the cases on supernanny at least things weren't working because the parents were inconsistant with the disipline they were using. Like dad doing one thing and mom another, or weren't following through with giving them their one warning and then being done and not giving them warning after warning. .....not saying that any of these things you are doing wrong, just what happens most of the time on the show. Anyway these methods have worked really well for me when I follow through with the kids and make sure I set clear expectations for them when what is allowed and not allowed or what I expect from them when we are out and what will happen if they don't follow the rules while we are out. Then saying "Alex if you keep choosing to be naughty, then your computer games will be taken away today."

Hope this helps a little and maybe you can catch that show this evening. It is always hard giving advice to others about what to do with kids, hope that things will work out better and you can find something that will work for you!

Nigel Flannery Livingston said...

eliza needs to type in paragraphs.

Eliza Brock said...

Ha! That is pretty long looking at it now...sorry!

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